I refuse
to fall. I will not fall back, I will maintain the control I’ve established. I will, I will, I will. I’ll really dislike myself even more if I don’t. I don’t want to go back to how I was before.
oh hey, it’s my life right now.
…except i do want a job. but i know if i magically get one, i’ll panic as soon as i’m assigned any task.
(Source: anxietycat)
insignificant. wasting my time. on the road to nowhere, where the opposite of anything remotely similar to success lies.
and all because I can’t meet a deadline. and/or my resume sucks. and/or I’m terrible at interviews.
it’s difficult to look forward to summer because I know the entire time I’ll be plagued with thoughts about where I could be at that moment had I not fucked up two interviews…had I been proactive, made plans C,D,E, & F, and applied earlier…
fuckin fuck.
Hi,
can you please not comment on what I eat, or how much I eat, or my shoes? I know I’m socially awkward, and I know you like to make jokes but, it’s really not helping.
back and forth, what do they call that? yo-yo-ing? either way, it seems like there’s always someone criticizing. it’s so great. I hope you think you’re funny. I hope it gives you some kind of satisfaction. ‘cause in all honesty it just makes me feel like shit. like I suck and I wish I could disappear and I ask, once more, “Why the fuck am I here?”
Thanks. Hope you got a kick out of that…
why do i want to be a seemingly composed ball of bottled-up angst and insecurity and anger?
but when i was, (minus the “seemingly composed” part) i couldn’t control it. and i want to control it, i was able to last semester, that was my lowest ever and it felt GREAT. i loved seeing that number.
gah. damnit.
we all seem to be struggling tonight.
and they say misery loves company, but no, not right now.
we all need to somehow convince ourselves that we’re good, we’re good people and no, we’re not perfect, and we shouldn’t be.
we are good. we are enough.
